On Wednesday morning, February 11th, 1998, my dad went to BAMC (Brookes Army Medical Center) in San Antonio for a "check-up". His heart played out on him before making it in from the parking lot and he was admitted on an emergency basis to the Cardiac Care Unit.

I drove to San Antonio on Thursday the 12th to be with my parents

On the afternoon of the 13th, I had overheard the doctors discussing how bad dad's condition really was. They were mapping out their surgery plan and the chief surgeon said "It's a miracle this guy is alive", "If he can survive going on the bypass, he just might make it". Another one spoke up, " As long as this clot dont blow during the transfer, he stands a good chance"

Hearing all this was horrible, but I knew I could not let the rest of the family know, I decided to just keep it to myself.

3:30 am February 14th, 1998.

I cant sleep, am too worried about dad so I decided I would start a journal.

As I sit here, I am consumed with thoughts of my father. How much he has taught me over the years, how proud I am of him, but most of all, how lucky I have been to have had him as my daddy.

4:30 Time is passing slowly, but it is time to wake mom up so we can get to the hospital.

6:20 We arrive in dad’s room and discover my 2 brothers asleep in the recliners provided, but not dad. He was laying there, just gazing upon his two sons while they sleep.

7:00 Dad’s favorite nurse, Lt Lisa Salazar has just come on duty and popped in to give him a hug. She is so good with him, and he is being the typical flirt. Lisa informs us the OR is prepping and they will be arriving to get dad shortly.

8:10 The Anesthesiologist arrives to take dad to the operating room. He tells us to say our good-byes now. It is so hard, we are all so very scared. I am the last to give dad a hug and then it happens. The look on dad’s face caused my heart to sink to my feet. I have seen that look only once before. It is the same look he had when the Doctors were doing a biopsy on mom’s breast and one of them came out to tell him she was eat up with cancer and a mastectomy had to be done. My father, for the first time during this ordeal, allowed his fears to be seen. Although he had tried, he could no longer hold back the tears of fear. My own heart was ripping apart inside of me, I knew deep inside that this might be the last time I see him alive. I did everything I could to hold back my tears, I couldn’t let dad see how scared I was and I had to remain strong for mom.

The Anesthesiologist response was smooth. He offered dad a beer to calm him down, and then quickly gave him a shot of something. We all followed him as they pushed him onto the elevator. The Anesthesiologist invited us to ride along and we did. Yep! That shot worked! Dad’s chatting like he does when he has had a few too many scotch and waters. (Sure do wish I had a shot of whatever that was, it’s gonna be a long day and I fear I wont be able to hold up). As they wheeled him away, I whispered to him softly, "I love you daddy".

10:30 The time is passing soooooo slowly. Finally a nurse arrives with an update, he’s doing fine, it took a little longer than they thought to get him on the heart/ lung bypass machine, but he was doing fine. I remembered the a special day, not too long after dad retired from the Navy when he and mom took a drive and left me and Ron under Richard’s care. They seemed to have been gone a really long time, when all the sudden, Richard yells, "they’re home and they’ve got a trailer!" I figured he was jokin around, but he wasn’t. Sure enough, they had gone and bought me and my brothers horses. Wow! Them were the good ole days.

12:30 The clock continues to tick and we all try to find things to occupy our minds. We’re given another update, "it’s gonna be several more hours, you should go eat". Eat! Who the hell could eat at a time like this? I remembered the time dad snatched me up from the dinner table for a whoopin cause I talked back to mom. I must have be 9 or 10 at the time. We had peas that night and when dad grabbed me, peas went flying all over the place! It scared me so bad I peed my pants, and mom, to calm dad down, said "allright Roy, I’ve had enough p’s flying for one night. My brothers got a big kick out of mom’s humor and me getting my butt busted. Wasn’t a bit funny to me at the time though.

2:00pm I watch and listen as Ron & Richard discuss guns and an add in a hunting magazine. I cant stand this and decide to go for a walk. I head for the elevator when I bump into the Anesthesiologist. He said he was relieved so he could go eat. Said dad was past the critical point and all was going great. What a relief! I started thinking about how dad and I had argued about him going to the doctor if he made it home alive from the bash. It made me angry. I was so furious that he was willing to die without even trying to get help. I started thinking of when he had his 1st attack thirteen years ago. I was going through a divorce at the time and blamed myself for putting so much worry on dad. I remembered how my son Collin was the key to dad’s recovery. He was so proud to have a grandson and they spent countless hours together eating popcorn and sugar free jello mom had made for them.

3:15 Dr Stephens, the lead Cardiologist comes out and fills us in on the surgery. Quintuple Cabbage went great and dad would be heading to recovery soon. We could see him in about an hour or so. My brothers decided that was good enough news for them and headed home. Mom and I sat around and anxiously awaiting to see dad.

4:15 Finally, they motion for mom and I to go in. I looked at mom and knew the sight of him was gonna be hard for her. She took one look, then went and sat in a chair in the corner. I stood for hours and held dad’s hand while his nurse, Lt Pemberton so patiently explained all the tubes and medication to me. Talk about bells and whistles! Man! Some alarm is constantly going off. The Lt just laughed when I asked him about the alarms. Dont worry he said, it’s just the computer telling me to check his brakes, fluids and not to forget to give him his boilermaker! Then it occurred to me, Dad’s got a male nurse! I gotta get a pic of this. Snap! I got it on film! A male nurse trying to get in bed with my dad. The Lt. was great and such a good sport. He offered to make a sign that said "I love the Army" and make it look like dad was holding it. I laughed, but knew dad would disown me for sure if I pulled a stunt like that. Every so often, the Lt would lesson the amount of sleeping potion they were giving dad so that he would awaken and cough. He explained that it was critical that they keep doing this all night in order to get the fluid off dads lungs. It was horrible, dad’s eyes would pop open and he would jump as though he was started, and then begin to violently cough. I would hold his hand and keep repeating, "relax your legs daddy, I’m here". These coughing spells were too much for mom and she would leave the room every time. As soon as Dad would deliver a big lugie to the Lt, he would turn up the volume on the sleeping juice and off to lala land dad would go. The Lt assured me that dad would not remember any of these violent coughing spells. Dad seemed to be aware that I was with him because I would ask him to squeeze my hand if he could hear me and he would. (He swears now he doesn’t remember a thing)

6:25 So much had gone on, I knew I had to get off to myself for a bit. After seeing that mom was ok, I took a walk. I found myself in the chapel, where I finally let it all out. I had fought so hard to hold back the tears and be strong for mom, I had to find a safe place to do a bit of reality adjusting. I must have been there sobbing my eyes out for 10 or 15 mins, when I felt a pair of arms around me. I didn’t get his name, but he had heard me crying and came in to see if he could be of help. He was concerned that I had lost someone, but after I collected myself, I explained why I had come to the chapel. He told me that mom’s have a special gift. That is, that they can be calm, cool and collected during a time of crisis, and then collapse into a pool of emotion when the crisis has ended. Then he followed by telling me that he guessed that daughters have that same gift. His words were of little comfort but I appreciated the fact that he took the time to come check on me. (Thinking back, his words must have been a comfort, because after thanking him, I headed back to dad’s room.)

7:45 I cant say as I’m to impressed with dad’s new nurse. She does not seem to have that caring, compassionate touch that all the others have had. She has tried several times to get me and mom to leave. Mom gave in, but not me! I’m taller than she is and I’m stickin around a while.

8:45 Well I’ve had all I’m taking of this b*tch. It’s time for mom and I to get some rest.

6:45 am Feb 15 Well Lt Pemberton is back on duty I see, but the b*tch aint left yet. We arrived just as the crew of doctors did to check on dad. He is awake and wants that tube out of his throat. 1-2-3 it’s gone! Eeeeewwww, yuck! Talk about a lugie, that is *gag* skanky lookin! The doctor points out that smoking causes that. Ok, you sold me doc, I aint ever lighting up again! No how No way, I aint gonna do it! Gross!!!!!

What’s that dad? Submarines? Oh, yes! I called and made a report to one of the guys last night. Dad smiled as though I had done good.

For the most part, today went well. Bet dad wishes he wouldn’t remember these coughing spells, or feel them either for that fact. He looks pretty good, NO, he looks great!

2:00pm The Doctors are very encouraged at his progress and have decided to move him to the rehab ward.

3:30pm Dad’s feeling a little better and has sat up in a chair for a while. Boy his new nurse sure is cute, another Lt. Nope, he aint gay neither, not the way he’s cutting up he aint. Cant believe the nurses on this ward wear army camouflage uniforms instead of scrubs. Oh well, as long as he takes good care of my daddy, who cares what he’s wearing.

8:00pm Dad’s had a really good day but he’s tired so I’m getting mom out of here for the night.

8:30am Feb 16 (Darn! A female nurse, wonder when that cute young Lt comes on duty????)

1:30 pm Boy the phones a ringing away. Dad’s had lots of calls from the BBS guys and the Cooties are starting to show up. My dad sure has lots of good friends.

Dad seems anxious for mom and me to head home. He wants to start his mobile training sessions. He’s gotta learn how to walk and breath at the same time again, instead of taking a few steps, stoppin and huffin and a puffin for a few.

I am so proud of his progress and apparently so are the doctors. Looks like dad’s gonna get out of here on Thursday. Guess I’ll take mom and head home to get the house ready for the reborn submariner.

Tuesday the 17th Mom and I return to San Antonio

Wednesday the 18th This crew cant wait to get rid of dad, he is chasing nurses(females) up and down the hallways and driving everyone nuts! They would have to have a group of young trainees on this ward. (poor gals, I hope they figure out that not all patients are as tacky as my dad)

3:30 pm Thursday February 19, 1998 ........It was a long drive, but it is nice to have dad back home where he belongs. For the next 6 - 8 weeks I will be his Driver and personal caretaker so, without regret, I have withdrawn from school for the rest of this semester. After dad is all healed and I've helped mom take care of a few things she has been putting off, I will re-enroll starting this summer session.

Note:

To my fathers Submarine brothers

I have spent some time sorting through and reading the post which have been made the past few days. With tears in my eyes and a warmth in my heart. I say thank you. You have been a life line for my father. You are the reason he wants to recover and come home to his family. Your prayers, thoughts and well wishes are gifts that will never be forgotten. It is because of you that my daddy is alive today. Sure, I know that God and the Doctors worked on dad's body, but it was each of you whom worked on his mind. You gave him enthusiasm, motivation and a desire to go on living.

May God bless and keep each and every one of you.

With love,

Robin